Can't believe it has come to this point

As this school term comes to a close, I have spent some time reflecting on all that I've learned and accomplished over these past three/four months. Upon reviewing submitted work, I came accross a self-definition essay I wrote for my AP Language course. On Being A Blogger is the subject I chose to write about. Therefore, I felt it quite fitting to share my innermost thoughts and feelings on the topic with all of you kind people taking the time to read my wordy concoctions on a regular basis.

Digitally Personified

          I vividly remember the fateful day; almost exactly two years ago, when I was flipping through the pages of Teen Vogue and suddenly found myself paused on an article highlighting a 13-year-old blogger named Tavi. It was as if the message to turn the page was interrupted and ceased as it travelled from my brain to my fingertips. Buried beneath phrase after phrase of flattering remarks was the web address for Tavi’s origin of success: her blog. I was overwhelmed by Tavi’s maturity and ability to write so knowledgeably, personably, humorously, and eloquently at her young, often looked-down-upon age. I found myself spending the rest of that Sunday afternoon studying each and every post (mind you she crafts between one to two hundred and fifty per month) Tavi had written from March 2008 until November 2009. Nothing truly registered or solidified the fact that I too could be successful in the style world until I was introduced to Tavi and her accomplishment in my same field of interest. This inspired me to give it a whirl.
Looking back on the article that first sparked this idea, I see it was written on November 16th, 2009. Interestingly, I did not start my blog until November 22nd, nearly a week later. So what exactly transpired over that mysterious week in-between? I could say I was busy collecting research, writing pre-post ideas, or designing the layout, but all would be lies. Those six days were spent agonizing over what I should title the blog. After sifting through hundreds of other sites, it seemed as though every respectably “cool” name had been taken, and it did not help that my mother’s suggestions sounded cheesy and unexciting. Then, she threw out the word “voguish”. For some reason, I always had a fascination with the suffix “ish”. After an hour of hunting for a term that could precede “voguish” – this was also the start of my fervent relationship with and strong belief in the power of the thesaurus – I ultimately discovered the perfect mate for “voguish”, and that was “arbitrarily”.
My previous self-identified label of “gamer” has since been replaced by “blogger”. Spare time is spent catching up on daily must-read blogs. In fact, the writing of this piece has been interrupted numerous times already as I scan through latest posts. I now find myself with pages on Twitter, Bloglovin’, and Facebook to help promote a following. I have even endured a breakdown at three in the morning as I frantically tried to repair the layout of my blog after the company who hosts it faced a serious glitch. 
Aside from the more concrete struggle of getting to this point, I had to overcome the psychological barrier as well. While thrilled at the launch of my site, apprehensiveness prevented me from sharing it with my peers. There was no stopping the bothersome voice inside my head reminding me that I could be judged. I made it my goal to hide the blog from all who could have an opinion on my writing and image. I never announced my updated posts by any means that could notify friends of my secret role. This fear consumed me for the first few months, but thankfully, it began to fade. October 7th, 2010 was when I finally let my guard down and made my blogosphere presence known. A contest I desperately wanted to win required votes. Oh how I wished a panel of experts could choose the winner; facing judgment from my peers seemed thoroughly daunting. After mustering up the courage, I finally decided it was time to let my digital persona be known, shown, and even judged – for better or worse. I created a Facebook event, and what a relief to discover an overflowing number of favorable comments.
I am undoubtedly a changed person, but despite any challenge, I know it was a positive transformation. Life without my blog is unimaginable. Some wonder if it is blogging or the content that draws me to this role, but it is my passion for style that gives me inspiration to share my thoughts on the subject. Many blur the line between fashion and style; fashion falls under the umbrella of style. Fashion may be my greatest love, but as I have come to learn, examining its effects in isolation is less valuable.  I’ve realized that my passion for style now has purpose, and Arbitrarily Voguish is a painless kick-start to my future. I do, however, remain cautious of my public persona. There is no question that teenage scandals are a dime a dozen these days, therefore I must be cognizant of the content I share.
Despite my great obsession with and passion for Arbitrarily Voguish, I do not entirely fit the role of a stereotypical fashion blogger. Unlike Rachel Zoe, I actually own sweatpants and am not afraid to wear them outside of my home. I am not someone constantly taking notes or someone who must be fully decked out in the latest and greatest labels. Because of my blog, I have gained self-confidence in terms of my writing, and ability to present myself in an artistically inclined fashion. While I may be unsure what my life will be like in five, ten, even fifteen years, I am certain that in this day and age, I am wholly content with my self-chosen title of being a blogger. 

Thank you for bearing with me. xx